Three Up, Three Down

Hey folks,

This week I'm reviewing God Hates Us All, the novel written by David Duchovny's character on the Showtime show Californication. I'm also reviewing John Layman's Chew. In addition, I finally bought and read DC Comics' Identity Crisis, by Brad Meltzer and Rags Morales.

Alright, so I know how lame it is to read a book just because of a television show, but I was interested, okay? In truth, there is no "Hank Moody," and it's quite obvious the book was written by screenwriters for the show, because they capture the voice of David Duchovny a little too well.

The book is also at a middle-school reading reading level. Big text. Double-spaced. Less than 150 pages. It's like a coffee table book for morons. Worse than anything than people say about Stephanie Meyer or JK Rowling.

The plot doesn't have much merit either. A young college dropout becomes a drug dealer living in the Chelsea in New York. He falls for all the wrong girls and backstabs all the wrong dealers is his supposedly endearing, smart ass way. The pop-culture allusions lose their effect because the narrator, first-person of course, feels the need to explain each one as he goes along. The language isn't anything spectacular, and even though it's funny at times, I feel like I lost brain cells faster than reading I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, by web personality, Tucker Max.

Another issue is verisimilitude. If this is supposed to be the book that propelled David Duchovny's character to quasi-fame and a movie deal, it leaves much to be desired. Am I supposed to believe that a book like this made anyone's best-seller list? Its appeal is limited to 18-25 year old males, who ironically probably read the least out of any age-demographic. Plus, according to the show, this book is made into a romantic comedy starring Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. By no stretch could that be possible. I understand that Duchovny's character is pissed that his book was bastardized into a crappy film, but how does one bastardize a crappy book into a crappier film with a cast that isn't even in the right age group to be playing the characters in he novel?

I appreciate the attempt at expanding the impact of the show. It's a great form of advertising I'm sure; I'll have to ask my friend Iric about it. But seriously? They should've invested in a better writer and given readers something worth reading. But then I suppose reading a real novel with over 200 12-point font pages would take away from precious Showtime-watching time, wouldn't it?

This is one of my favorite DC Comics stories, but I had never read it only knew the back story because of Blackest Night tie-ins and Green Arrow back-issues. Since it's so old, I won't bother avoiding spoilers. Sorry.

The theme and plot are dark. The whole thing is on the same level as Frank Miller work or Alan Moore's The Killing Joke. The difference being, that unlike Miller, I actually like this.

To sum it up, Sue Dibny, wife of the superhero Elongated Man, is murdered, which starts a furious search by all of DC's top heroes to find her killer, but Green Arrow, Zatanna, Hawkman, Atom, Black Canary, and Elongated Man seem to already know whodunit. Their suspect, the supervillain Dr. Light, had previously raped Sue Dibny and threatened to go public and suggest that supervillains all do their best to rape, murder, or harm the loved ones of superheroes. When confronted with this, the heroes, along with Green Lantern and the Flash, decided to have Zatanna wipe Dr. Light's memory and alter his personality, a practice that had fallen to them whenever a hero's secret identity had been discovered by a villain. After the heroes confront Dr. Light, however, they find a much more sinister truth that costs the lives of Robin's father, Captain Boomerang, and Firestorm. In a deluded effort to win back the affection of her ex-husband, the Atom, Jean Lorring had murdered Sue Dibny in order to scare superheroes into protecting their loved ones. She even staged an attempt on her own life, only to be rescued by Atom.

This volume is one of the more terrifying noiresque mysteries in contemporary comics. Thematically, it addresses the issues with secret identities, moral and ethical decisions that superheroes face, the truly dark nature of supervillains, and the measures that a desperate person will go to. In the end, the only victims are Sue Dibny, the Atom and Elongated Man. One woman's madness cost one her life, and the others their happiness. Atom never recovers from the guilt and Elongated Man is killed later on, never getting over the rape and murder of his wife.

Unfortunately, because of the ending plot twist, the comic does little to refute the crude saying, "bitches be crazy."

The comic features amazing cover art by the late Micheal Turner, a legend in the industry. Rags Morales pencils and formatting a pretty clean and expressive throughout. The story is paced moderately well, with only one or two moments where you may find yourself wondering, "why is this important?"

Honestly, I'm not usually a fan of overly sensational comics like this, but this one is more focused on the dialogue and discussion of these heavy issues than graphic detail of the truly horrific things that happen. One weakness however, is that the emotional impact simply isn't strong enough for the content. The rational approach to the problems is cold and scientific, despite the high tension in the characters. I just couldn't feel it, if you know what I mean.

Chew is just one of those quirky breakout comics. Main character, Tony Chu, lives in a world where an avian flu epidemic forces Congress to outlaw the sale, preparation and consumption of chicken and other poultry products illegal. This gives the FDA authority to investigate crimes and apprehend offenders, as well as investigate all crimes relating to the black market of chicken.

Chu is a cimopath, meaning that he gets psychic visions whenever he eats something. He can tell you what tree in what state and what pesticides were used on an orange with just a bite. A very interesting super power, no?

I love this comic. It's funny, witty, its cartoony art style compliments the story remarkably well and best of all, it's wildly original. In just the first volume, Taster's Choice, we get a pretty rich and entertaining story, even if you won't find a life-changing theme or moral.

If you can suspend disbelief and are in mood to laugh, I highly recommend this title.

That's it for now everybody! Enjoy the Super Bowl! Go Saints!

-Steve